a eulogy for arya

my baby bear arya passed away yesterday morning. she had congestive heart failure and weakened kidneys from her medication on top of being 12 years old. at 4:30 am i woke up to her breathing hard and gave her water and propped her up until she was calmed down. i went back to bed thinking she would be ok, but when kevin and i woke up, we knew something was wrong. we found her already passed on, likely because of heart failure.

luckily we had known her time was gonna come this weekend and were already planning to put her down. we spent the day before taking car rides so she could feel the wind on her face one last time and gave her a delicious meal of rib eye steak. ultimately she passed in the comfort of her own home, with both of us by her side. 

for those of you who don’t know, i met arya in 2020 when my relationship with kevin was getting serious enough that he introduced me to her; she was his baby after all and pretty soon after she became my baby too. she was my baby for only a year and a half but she was such a source of love and happiness in my life.

we loved her soft fur, her big eyes, her even bigger nose, her high prey drive, the way she hated the ocean but loved the sand, her love of sunbathing and rolling around in the grass… i could go on forever. she was absolutely perfect in every way and i will always see her in everything i do. 

if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading. thank you for loving her if you knew her and indulging me if i ever sent you endless photos of her. she will always be my sweet baby arya ❤️

2021 Recap

Hello! It's been a REALLY long time since I last posted on this blog. Well, I've felt a little inspired to start writing things on here again, mainly because I have so much that I've been enjoying doing lately and thought it would be fun to write some of it up! I honestly wouldn't do it for views or whatever, but for my own enjoyment and also for archival purposes. Future me will read this one day and it'll be nice to have a record of what's been going on in my life and in my head. The person reading this might not be future me, it could be a stranger, a friend, my partner, or someone who knows about this blog and used to be close with me! Either way, I hope you enjoy :) 

I wanted to make a 2021 recap even though it's already March 2022 lol. But some context of where my life up to the beginning of 2021 is important! Since the last post on this blog and since January 2021, I had...

• Become single lol 
• Graduated from UCLA with my Bachelor's 
• Left UCLA with a lot of close friendships and really really fun college experiences, including a trip to Vegas, a trip to Joshua Tree, apartment living with cool people, etc etc 
• Done an internship with the City and met my now-boyfriend and then eventually started dating him. :) We've been together for over 2 years, officially dating for over a year and 5 months! 
• Survived 2020 and a really big mess of a pandemic year... I had moved back home already after graduating UCLA so I was with my family and working from home
• Oh yeah, got a full time job!! It pays really well, has good benefits, and I get to work in water conservation and fun stuff like that.
• Started doing an online Master's again with UCLA! Luckily I have friends from undergrad/work doing the same program and classes so it's been very bearable. 

Now that we're up to date, here's a recap of how my 2021 went! 

January

Not much happened at this point, this was pre-vaccine and mid-holiday covid surge so there weren't any events or trips going on. I spent a lot of time with Kevin (my partner) and Arya (Kevin's dog and the closest thing I've had to a baby) as usual <3 

February

Kevin and I went on a trip back to the Lake Arrowhead cabin with Arya, were super domestic, did a house roll hehe. That same weekend we drove down to San Diego and went to our first wedding together for his cousin! We stayed in a fancy hotel, got super drunk, and got super soft with each other. It was a really fun weekend. :) 

March 

Not much happened this month either; the usual hanging out with friends from home, spending quality time with Kevin and Arya! Oh yeah, since I was living at home and he lived almost an hour away, we only saw each other on the weekends. Every date we had felt so precious! Finished my Winter quarter for school! Also, I got vaccinated!

April 

Most memorable thing that happened was going on a weekend Joshua Tree trip with friends and doing shrooms lolol. Spent a lot of the shroom trip indoors and hallucinated a LOT, but it was really fun haha. I was also SPENT from so much socializing and making my brain go through a lot of stimulation! Haven't done a trip since but maybe it's time? Also got my second dose of the vaccine :)) 

May

Started off on a really stressful and bad note; one of my best friends of almost 10 years aggressively ended our friendship after I had miscommunicated my future living plans to her. That miscommunication opened up a whole can of worms about how she thought I never cared about her, respected her, and was a shitty friend because my actions made her insecure about our friendship and I didn't do enough to make her feel better. The situation made me see how much we had grown in different directions and made me reflect on how a lot of our friendship... wasn't great. Thankfully, thanks to my amazing friends, family, partner, therapist, and commenters on a Reddit post I made about the situation, I realized I wasn't at fault and I had done all I could on the situation. I haven't talked to her since and don't plan on it. 

Also, I went on a trip to Seattle with a few of my closest friends! It was a little nerve wracking at first because one of those friends was someone who is close to both me and my ex best friend but decided to remain neutral in the situation. I was worried about how she thought of me, but she still cares about me and the trip was an amazing time. :) 

June 

Did so much apartment hunting this month since Chelsea (my best friend from UCLA) and I decided where and when we would move in together at this point!! Got serious about training for a 5k that was happening the next month that I was doing with Kevin, turns out running is fun when you properly train for it. CRAZY. Also saw Nicole Byer live with Erica for her birthday <3

July

Moved in to our new apartment! Still living here now and it's so surreal to be in Pasadena, away from my parents and fam, closer to Kevin, and officially on my own. It's incredibly sad to no longer be with my family all the time, but really freaking nice to have my own space, do things on my own terms, etc!! At the beginning of this month I also ran my first 5k! Kevin ran with me at my pace and it was nice having him there next to me while I was working so hard :') It's something I'm really proud I did! Also went bar hopping in Pasadena with Chelsea for her birthday <3 I spent a lot of time this month hanging out with friends, going to parties, and going to Disneyland!!

August 

More transitioning to new apartment life! It was really hot this month... Started seeing Kevin more than once a week (so nice), baked an ube cheesecake for my dad's birthday, got my nails done with my friends and got my first acrylics set and i haven't been able to back ever since, and stayed over at Kevin's house a lot :) Also went to Filipino Dodgers night and had a really good time hehe. 

September

Kevin's birthday month!! We went to Lawry's, dressed up really fancy, and ate some insanely delicious prime rib. We also went to a Kygo show with our friends where I took a little too much ecstasy because I can't remember much of it and got too stimulated by all the lights and sounds. But it was still a good time! We ended up being stranded after the show because no one on the ride share apps would pick us up... Chelsea had to drive all the way down at 1 AM to get us, bless her soul. I got another tattoo this month!! Got matching Mitski tattoos with some friends on my side abdomen, which fucking hurt but the tat looks cute as hell. Went bar hopping with Kevin and our friends the same night and that ended up being a mistake because guess what!! You're not supposed to drink for like a week after getting a tattoo!!

October 

Went on a 5 day trip to Denver with Kevin at the beginning of the month as an early anniversary trip and it was just... amazing. I can't even get into it because it deserves its own post but in short, I love Colorado and I love Kevin. <3 Hung out with friends a lot and went to Halloween Horror Nights for the first time! Kevin and I celebrated our first anniversary as an official couple this month! Saw Phoebe Bridgers live finally, and ended the month going to Halloween parties! Dressed up with Kevin as Hinata and Kageyama from Haikyuu hehe. Also, this was the month that I started reeeeally getting into Formula 1. Holy shit man I love Formula 1. 

November 

Birthday month! Spent the start of this month seeing IDLES live with Carrie again, getting drunk with Erica and Carrie for the first time (this was really fun haha), and having a little at home work vacation with kevin during veteran's day weekend. Also went to Erica's graduation, saw my little brother in his first play (and cried)! My birthday was on Thanksgiving this year which I learned I don't like at all. My favorite birthday activities were not on my actual birthday but it was still a really nice week <3 Kevin and I went to Majordomo for dinner and wowow it was so delicious! Also started going to F45 this month and I've been obsessed ever since. It's been a great way for me to stay in shape but also a good way for me to be social because I found out this year that I am a lot more extroverted than I care to admit. 

December 

So many things!! Saw Trevor Noah live, saw Spiderman, went out clubbing for the first time in a long time, so many holiday things, and then the biggest thing that happened was going to Hawaii with my family!! By the time we got back, Omicron had reared its ugly head so my New Year's plans with friends were cancelled. 

I achieved a lot of my goals that I set for myself, like moving out, saving X amount of money, getting down to 25% body fat, and finishing more books. 

Going into 2022, I have more goals of course! But the biggest one is to stay present and enjoy my life since time seems to be passing so quickly. In particular, it made me really sad when my Hawaii trip with my family ended and I realized how much of it passed me by because I was busy being stressed about what we were gonna do next, how we were gonna do it, etc. The time spent with my loved ones is the most important thing to me and I can't really do that if I'm not here in the present! 

Main goals for 2022: 

• Maintain a 3.0+ GPA for school
• Pay off one of my student loans
• Visit/experience 3 new places with Kevin
• Meditate and journal everyday
• Bring phone screen time down to less than 6 hours a day

Side goals for 2022: 

• Finish reading 3 books
• Keep learning dances, get better at dancing in general 
• Add at least $X to savings account
• Open an IRA and investing fund for stocks 
• Completely unpack and decorate my room

Ok thanks for reading bye!!

Two Door Cinema Club at the Santa Barbara Bowl

Back in 2013, I made a blog post about the first concert that I ever attended: Two Door Cinema Club. It was such an iconic and special night for me and after the show, I promised myself that I would see them again, but next time in the GA pit. Well, almost three years later in April 2017, that wish finally came true at the Santa Barbara Bowl!

The opener for that night was Grouplove, who I only knew for their songs Photograph and Tongue Tied. Still, the band had a very unique, charismatic and loving energy. Everything that they played felt so intimate yet fun! When they played Tongue Tied, the whole bowl was screaming the lyrics in unison, making it feel like one big close knit event.

And of course, these guys. Two Door Cinema Club had as much energy as I remember, if not more! I have to admit, I didn't listen much to their latest album, 

The photo and video are of "Changing of the Seasons", one of my favorite songs from them.

The lighting and design of the stage was so amazing! There were extra backdrops and effects to compliment each song played. It felt incredible; almost as if we were being absorbed by the music. 

I had such a wonderful time watching Two Door Cinema Club again after so long! It had been a while since I listened to them consistently and I was especially worried since I hadn't completely listened to Gameshow yet, but the band played so many classics from Tourist History and Beacon. Of course, their encore was What You Know and it ended the concert with a bang. I hope to see them very, very soon because my love has been reignited! 

Review: Nature Republic Fresh Green Tea 70 Emulsion

Hi everyone, back with another review from my Nature Republic haul from a few weeks ago! This time, I'll be reviewing their Fresh Green Tea emulsion. I have been using this for a long enough time now to give a thorough review. For those who don't know emulsion is a later step in the skincare process to provide extra moisture and whatever other effects wanted. It should also be noted that I have sensitive, normal type skin. Let's get started!
(If you are reading this on mobile, tap on the photos for a clearer resolution)

I really adored the packaging for this product! It seems that all of Nature Republic's packaging is eco-friendly, recyclable, and printed with a soy-based ink; all of which I fully support! The colors and design are also simple and very nice to look at.

Here are the ingredients for those who are interested for ethical reasons or allergy reasons. As you can see, there are quite a few ingredients that are natural, including the key ingredient, camellia sinensis leaf water, or more commonly known as green tea extract. The product stays true to its claims and has a #1 ingredient of a tea leaf that is an anti-oxidant, anti-carcinogen, and has anti-aging properties.

The bottle itself is quite sturdy and clearly is not made of any cheap material. 

There was a safety seal in the top of bottle for protection, which I always appreciate~. Now, I have found that this method of dispense for the product has some major flaws. When I first started using the emulsion, I couldn't get the product out at all no matter how much I shook the bottle onto my hand. For the first week, I had to scoop it out with a Q-tip! This was an inconvenience, but now that I've loosened up the product, I have no problems anymore getting it out. 

The product had a slightly thick consistency, but applied on really smoothly! It spread and absorbed into the skin quite easily, no resistance at all. My skin always feels more refreshed and supple after applying. There's also little to no smell.

As for the effects, I have been using this product for about three weeks and have noticed no negative side effects. I have sensitive skin and have not broken out all. My skin has also become slightly more hydrated and clear and hopefully will continue to get better as time passes. 

With all these effects factored in, I give this product a 

8.5/10.

This product is no miracle worker and has flawed packaging, but with time, it does it's job. I recommend this product for those with normal to combination skin. Dry-skin types would also benefit from this product, but more in the warmer months. I also very much appreciate the ethical message Nature Republic sends with its products. I hope to try and review more in the future!

What are your thoughts on the product? Let me know of your favorite emulsions! Thank you for reading!

Hermit Falls Hike: Photo Album

A few weeks ago, a couple of close friends and I went on a little adventure to a hiking trail in the Angeles National Forest. We were trying to get to a little spot deep in the forest called Hermit Falls. Even though when we got there it was too much of a hassle to get to the actual falls, the path we hiked was absolutely beautiful and I had such a good time. This was my first actual nature hike and I loved every second of it. Not to mention it was great exercise! Thank you Erica and Carrie for this wonderful day~

(click on photos to enlarge)

Feeling completely enveloped in nature is something I need to do more often.

Review: Nature Republic Argan Deep Care Hair Mask

Hi everyone~! This hair mask was included in my Nature Republic haul last week and right after I made that post, I decided to use it to showcase if it worked well or not. My hopes for this product are that if it does its job, then I'll go out and get myself a full version!

The packaging was pretty straightforward. I really like the simplistic design and the materials used seems to be recyclable as well! It didn't seem cheap at all. 

Like mentioned before in my haul, the mask comes with its own shower cap for convenience. I didn't have any shower caps before buying this, so I was really pleased! As you can see, the package is split up into steps. Step 1 contains the actual mask and once you're done lathering the product evenly over your hair, you open Step 2 and put on the provided cap. Really simple and easy!

 

The treatment had a slightly thick consistency, but still watery enough to easily lather onto my hair. It did have a really pleasant scent that wasn't strong at all!

The shower cap was a paper/plastic blend and held my hair together really well, but it seems to be made for one-time use only. 

While I was waiting the 20 minutes with the cap on, I noticed that the treatment was starting to feel really warm on my scalp! It didn't sting at all, but I definitely could feel my scalp getting warmer from the treatment. I took this as a sign of the mask activating and doing it's job. It wasn't too uncomfortable, but I didn't mind it in the end.

Here is what my hair looked like the morning after I used the treatment. My tips look so much better and my hair has definitely gotten shinier! The effects have lasted for almost a week now, and multiple people have noticed that my hair looks healthier. It's not as voluminous as I want it to be yet, but I'm still very satisfied with the results. I'm definitely going to buy the full-sized tub in the future. 

However, keep in mind that my hair is naturally thick and straight, so I cannot say for certain that people with curlier, coarser, or thinner hair would experience the same amount of effectiveness as I did. If this product is used consistently for at least once a month, changes will definitely occur. Because of this, I'm giving this product a 

Rating: 9/10

I completely recommend this product for those who want to try a hair mask. The full size is available on Amazon, but if you live near a Nature Republic, try this product when you can! 

Nature Republic Haul!

Hi loves! It's been a while since I've made a blog post, sorry about that. Hopefully I'll post more this year. Anyways, I wanted to do a skincare post today because a Nature Republic opened up in my local mall! I'm really excited having a Korean skincare store so close to my house. I popped over and bought a couple of things and was even gifted some by friends. I plan on doing reviews on the full sized products soon. 

First item I got was an emulsion, which I've been needing in my skincare routine for a long time. Emulsions help supplement and provide moisture in the routine. Aside from an emulsion being great for helping make skin more supple, I chose the green tea product because green tea has a million fantastic benefits, and I'm just a huge green tea lover~. I'm hoping this will help keep my skin clear and depuff parts of my face as well add extra moisture. This cost a little less than $15. 

This product I've been looking at for a couple weeks now. It's their argan deep care hair mask. At first I was looking for the pack that came in a little tub, but they only had this version instead. This type is a one-time use and comes with a hair cap, which is really convenient! I'm hoping it'll make my hair shinier and more voluminous and if it works, I'll probably look for the full pack online. These cost about $4.50 each. 

Next is Nature Republic's Real Nature Aqua Gel mask. This mask was actually gifted to me by a friend who bought 10 masks to get another free 10 for only $30. I've used the green tea one and the difference between a gel mask and a sheet mask is definitely noticeable! It feels best if the mask is refrigerated for a couple of hours and then used. I'm excited to see how different this canola honey mask feels from the green tea one.  

Finally, I always appreciate these little samples that Korean skincare stores always give you. They gave me an emulsion from their AQUA line, a snail-based face cream (ooh!), and a green tea hand lotion from their line of many, many different hand lotions. 

I'm really excited to try these products and hopefully do reviews on a couple of them in the near future! 

Thanks for reading, be sure to follow my Twitter or Instagram to see what I'm up to!